#83 of 2010: The Curse of the Cat People

"Oh Kay, we're gonna do the short, short version":

Mr. Golly Gee/Dad (still attached to spurned, cursed dead wife) has effectively domesticated his former office buddy/new wife, or she has domesticated herself to the point that you wouldn't know anything about her past life as a working gal if you hadn't seen the previous film. They have an imaginative and solitary daughter, Amy, and in raising her, Dad takes his characteristically simplistic approach (play with other kids = happily normalized life, tell me what i want to hear = i've taught you a lesson, incredible truths = lies). There's a somewhat underdeveloped and maudlin interwoven storyline about an aging actress (with something akin to alzheimer's) and the daughter who struggles to care for her. Simone Simon is as charming as ever, and her singing to/interaction with Amy is a highlight of the story, alongside the young character's personality and openness to the world. The plot climax during a blizzard on christmas is a bit too much.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Curse_of_the_Cat_People

#81 of 2010: Dear Wendy

most of the reviews you'll find of this are negative in one of two ways: either they rip the movie apart for being absurd and unfollowable, or they seem not to mind the movie except for the "obvious" loathing of America and Americans which all Lars Von Trier's creative output (supposedly) seeks to exude. a few see it as more complex, and i'll side with them as far as the first hour and five minutes is concerned. during that time, this whole "pacifism with guns" thing plays out interestingly, confusing in its paradoxical theory and clearly unsustainable as a way of life. plenty of narrative details are left out the whole way through, but other embellishments (mainly velvet or pearl or wood) are inserted in their place, and as all of the rising actions occur- the kids become truly happy in their committed (and impressively academic) pursuits, their concealed weaponry maximizes their confidence as worthwhile members of a dead-end society, their parents die off of apparently unimportant natural causes- everything looks nice enough, is fanciful enough, and develops a style enough to hold your attention. beware the dreaded plot climax. of course it's a showdown. how could it not be a showdown. but the premise for the shoot out with the law is completely brainless. built on a foundation of a few lines of shitty dialogue (it isn't Danso Gordon's fault that his character was saddled with being the bridge from "secret good times with friends and guns" to "fire-away suicide mission to deliver some coffee"), the scene that allows for the guns to "awaken" and serve their destructive purpose never tries to defend the protagonists' hitherto good-heartedness. the first kill has no discernible motivation beyond shutting up an annoying adult, which completely destroys any affinity i had for the kids. you can go back and forth all you want about whether or not this is satire, who is being caricatured, if Lars Von Trier makes movies exclusively to try and trick Americans into paying to see themselves made fun of (I don't feel like a target here, but apparently some people do? maybe the ones who have managed to befriend only named revolvers?). the way i judge a movie is by how well it holds together, how skillfully it does its own thing. this one disintegrated as it tried to figure out if it said that out loud or just thought it. watch it until 1:05:08, then turn it off and make up your own ending. and P.S.: you did a pretty good job, Mr. Vinterberg. the writing sucked way more than the things i feel like you had control over.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dear_Wendy

#68 of 2010: Pirate Radio

i'm not going to go too far into this one because it would be a waste of energy to write all the mean things that could be said of it. the short version: "Pirate Radio" (aka "The Boat That Rocked" in the UK) packs a huge ensemble of half-baked, over-flattened characters and continually puts lame gags and cheap references to the fabled sexual freedom of the 60's ahead of meaningful story development. i didn't watch the deleted scenes, but reading recaps of them has me wondering why the character formulation was cut to make way for the two most horribly pointless plot-lines possible (both including stupid, fickle, pretty women scheming to get what they want by putting on coquettish little shows; both devoid of the possibility of an interesting outcome). i would have much rather seen the backstory on Felicity, a slightly more two-dimensional (though not "hollywood-looking") female character. or the backstory on any of the characters, for that matter, because they all seem to have arrived on this ship from out of left field. the truly enjoyable parts: all of Bill Nighy's acting, the rock'n'roll, and the totally contrived but joyous ending.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Boat_That_Rocked

#66 of 2010: Strictly Sexual

as a story it was decent, if strictly heterocentric and also improbable (but since when is improbable in itself a problem, right?). the title is ironic; the film actually offers some refreshing takes on love and sexuality (though it seems to lose any ground it gains during intercut "men on relationships" and "women on relationships" counseling sessions. on the other hand, this could simply be a reflection on how we are generally socialized to view the opposite sex and not the opinions of those who made the film. after all, what is said during this scene calls into question a lot of the simple binary assumptions we've been led to make about the four characters [2 men and 2 women], and the advice that is given is shown to be ineffective later in the movie. ok i've changed my mind, there is a net progress regarding gender stereotypes) i agree with the netflix reviewer who mentioned that a serious re-edit would do this some good, and i found some of the dialogue a bit "intro to fiction" sounding. some scenes, however, did achieve the recognizable realism that the entire movie was struggling towards: i.e. the scene where stannie describes his strained (now non-existent) relationships with his parents. it sounds convincing, his somewhat careful, slightly vague (but absolutely effective) in-a-nutshell description of why he and his family mutually opted out of keeping in contact when he was a teenager, and it lays a good foundation for our understanding of what happens to his relationship with donna. overall, though, this is another case of the movie being less interesting than the life of the movie - it has been released almost solely on the internet, streaming on netflix and hulu, and through those channels has managed to make 10 times it's production budget thus far. it may be a landmark in film distribution, but certainly is not one in filmmaking or storytelling. read the press on "strictly sexual", but skip seeing it unless you don't find less-than-good acting or hurried plot climaxes distracting.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strictly_Sexual

#62 of 2010: Bram Stoker's Dracula

i have to start by calling out the use of the author's name for any publicity of this movie. it would have been more appropriate to call it "Coppola's Shitty Dracula". i'll follow that with what i saw as the movie's strengths: sweet costuming for the Vlad preface; decent acting (however wasted on the film as a whole) by Anthony Hopkins, Gary Oldman (guaranteed by the screen actors guild to astound as an over-the-top villian while introducing a faint glimmer of humanity), and [surprise!] Tom Waits; and financially conservative effects (including camera positioning, aesthetically pleasing fades, and interesting editing), which i always appreciate for their resourcefulness and creativity. now for the weaknesses. in my perfect imaginary world, any time that someone tries to turn a piece of innovative and culturally important literature into a porn that is not even a good porn, they should have to apologize to everyone who watches it all the way through. i won't bother waiting for that, since this is not my world and Francis Ford Coppola's iteration of this horror story already achieved blockbuster status. besides the performances mentioned, the rest were either totally bland or (accidentally, i hope, for the sake of any respect i might in the future have for this director) unentertainingly comical. if you feel you must watch this, try to focus on the mystery of dracula's shapeshifting and centuries-long history. the movie got this right while it let all of the other great suspense-building plot-points from the novel fall apart. ff when Winona and Keanu are on screen together to avoid going into a bored coma.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dracula_(1992_film)

#55 of 2010: Everyone Says I Love You

The best chemistry was between Goldie and Woody, for sure. Tim Roth played his part magnificently as well. I haven't actually seen that many Woody Allen movies (besides this, "Vicki Christina Barcelona" and "What's Up Tiger Lily"), but I get the feeling that they all have a similar air of cinematic transparency, that is, that they don't bother to ask for a suspension of disbelief, especially where dialogue is concerned. I prefer movies that are based on more absorptive writing, even when the acting doesn't hold up. personal preference. however, I do appreciate how Allen builds his heroines: they may all be beautiful (but so are the men, except for him, and who but beautiful people do we expect to populate movies that never claim realism), but they are also smart, independently thoughtful, fallible, and (perhaps most importantly) are distinguishable from each other in their priorities and views on love and life. the musical element here was fairly gimmicky, but the choreography was pretty wonderful to watch.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everyone_Says_I_Love_You

#53 of 2010: Vera Cruz

it was a western. there were plenty of problematic portrayals of people of color. dialogue was stinted in favor of lancaster's (freakishly gleaming) teeth, but was often entertaining. too much discussion of unseen cautionary tale character, "ace". but some of the action shots were beautifully composed and followed through (good work, Mr. Laszlo).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vera_Cruz_(film)